Sand Castles

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

It’s a story of a couple.

They meet, fall in love, have problems, and break up.

Their break up is so painful, they both decide to undergo a procedure that erases all memory of their relationship.

After they no longer remember each other, and their pain is gone, they go off on their separate ways.

Then: they meet a second time. Neither one recognizing the other. And that is how the movie ends.

The ending suggests they fall in love again.

They were destined to be together, despite the past.

The theme– falling in love, breaking up, and meeting a second time– appeals to me on so many levels.

It’s terribly romantic.

Imagine a past relationship that was exciting, amazing, passionate.

Where you loved that person beyond any reasonable comprehension.

Then, a lie.

An indiscretion.

More lies.

And suddenly, the entire sand castle is washed away by the tide.

Fuck.

You scramble for your bucket. Add more sand. Try to fix it.

It appears to look okay.

Not as perfect as it was. But good enough.

The tide will reappear. And after enough attempts, you realize you can’t keep fixing it.

So, reluctantly, you choose to walk away.

* * *

What if your memories were erased. Every lie, indiscretion, hateful word spoken – gone.

POOF.

You meet again.

Two perfect strangers. Without a past.

The opportunity to start over again anew.

How wonderful would that be?

Fate handing you both a second chance.

This time, you decide to build your sand castle closer to land. You find a spot where there is little wind.

You add reinforcements. You guard it. Protect it.

Would it last this time…?

Only time would tell.

* * *

My recent break up has left me reflective.

Suddenly single after 2 years, I am often deep in thought.

What if we had a second chance?

The problem is that for the entire first year of our relationship, he was still in love with someone else.

Does he still think of her now?

Countless times during our 2 years together, he would subtly remind me that he did still think of her.

Now, I am not sure if I even care.

Because if he still loved me, and only me- if he no longer thought of her-  if he wanted me back- he would do everything in his power to win back my heart.

That’s a lot of ‘if’s’.

Would erasing our past make any difference?

Don’t the mistakes we’ve made in the past, teach us what not to do next time?

How would we know what to do differently, how to build the sand castle stronger, if there were no past mistakes to learn from?

I believe that if we are destined to be with someone, then nothing will keep you apart.

In the end, choose someone who wants to build and guard the sand castle with you.

It takes two people to protect it.

Protect it together.  No matter what.

Otherwise, all you have is a pile of useless fucking sand.

[Photos are from 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.]

IMBD Link:    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2954530560/tt0338013

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5 thoughts on “Sand Castles

  1. The problem is that you don’t get to try again knowing the past. You are the same people and will do the same sorts of things. The power is knowing this and, yet, still choosing to do it all over again because it would be worth all of the pain.

    If you haven’t already, I suggest reading “Eloisa to Abelard” by Pope, as well as checking out the real-life history of Héloïse d’Argenteuil and Pierre Abélard.

  2. I swear we are twin souls.
    This made me cry because I’ve written the same thing in my mind over and over… About the same man… For 4 years….
    And he broke it … Nothing will ever be completely right again.

    I wish for that total erasure… Never knowing what it felt like so I can’t miss it.

  3. I don’t think I’d be happy with swaths of memory missing. Took too much work to build up what I already know, the good and the bad.
    And even without the memories, I still have the potential to make the same mistakes all over again…

    And him not doing everything to win you back says a lot…

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