If you love someone, set them free.
I despise the cliche.
The truth is, if you love someone, WHY would you ever let them go? Fear? Doubt? Stupidity? There are a million different answers.
And I am not sure I can understand any of them.
Because finding true love is not an easy thing to do. So WHY would you ever throw it away?
My dear friend Jenny is beautiful, smart and funny. The total package. Jenny fell madly and quickly in love this past spring. He was AMAZING. He adored her and her 2 young boys. The sex was electric. Everything was new and exciting and perfect. Then, a few months into the relationship, he took a extended business trip to Europe.
He stopped calling. He suddenly clammed up.
Fear and doubt set in.
The distance made it impossible to maintain the relationship.
She fell apart.
Tears and sadness and loneliness. I was there for her through it all.
“He’ll regret his decision.” “He’ll miss you.” “He’ll cave and come back to you.” All of her friends told her the same thing: “He’ll come begging to take you back.”
Two weeks later he emailed her. He still loved her. He did miss her. But he had decided to stay in Europe permanently.
She fell apart. Again.
Meanwhile I was going through my own share of heartache. My own 2 year relationship was also crumbling apart. I lost my job, the love of my life moved out, and suddenly my entire world was unrecognizable.
A month later, Jenny emailed me. Instead of the usual sadness, there was a new found excitement.
“I met someone new. His name is John. He is amazing. I think I’m starting to fall in love with him. I think. It’s all so scary and happening so fast. He is simply just, WOW.”
As happy and thrilled as I was for her, my own heart was still very much broken. Even after 2 marriages (both which I had ended), and countless heartbreaks, I was convinced I’d never recover from this one. In my mind, he was my soul mate.
Mark, a man I had dated briefly 2 years ago, was a total package himself: charming, tall, successful, beautiful blue eyes- imagine a Ken doll come to life. I remember our second date. His good looks were almost too perfect.
I said, “I bet you could have any woman you want, Mark.” He looked at me with his intense blue eyes and replied, “There are beautiful girls everywhere, but YOU are the only one I’m interested in.”
I read Jenny’s email again.
“I think I’m starting to fall in love with him. He is simply just, WOW.”
It made PERFECT sense. She was a total package so it did not take very long for another man to come along and scoop her up. Just like that.
Yes, there are beautiful women (and men) everywhere. But total packages are not easy to be found.
It gave me hope. Maybe I would meet someone new and amazing again, too. After all I’m witty, charming and attractive, too– the total package. I also paint, write, and sing. Okay maybe I can’t sing- but I have a huge fucking heart. AND I can cook my ass off. Not all women can. I have BONUS features. [Yes, that’s a Twitter reference.]
What’s not to love?
Maybe my broken heart would heal eventually and I’d find love again, too.
Of course I would.
Because smart, beautiful, kick-ass women rarely end up alone.