We can’t change the past.

October. A cold and lonely month.

Memories of two October’s ago when everything felt hopeful, exciting and new.

As the sky gets grayer, I feel my heart sink lower.

I never asked for everything.

But looking back, when I had love in my life, I felt like I had it all.

I lost that love and now…. I feel lost, too.

And now as the months pass me by… and the summer leaves grow dry and crumble, I feel like a small part of me is crumbling, too.

* * *

But I’m so lucky. To have been blessed with optimism, and an open heart and the belief that hope is never lost.

So I’ll wake up each day, and try to find my smile and keep moving forward.

Looking forward. Trying to search for meaning.

And for love. Never giving up on what I might find.

And trying not to crush the leaves under my feet.