A Lesson in Goodbye

Living in beautiful farm country, we are surrounded by acres of gorgeous country side, serene views, peaceful mornings (no sounds of traffic ever!) and some of the most beautiful bike riding trails around.

However, we do have our share of heartache.

I’ve lost count of all the stray cats, most barely surviving on the scraps of food they find and the kindness of busy people who take the time to feed them.

Enter Little Mommy Cat, the feisty, but sweet girl who appeared on our doorstep a year+ ago with her brother, both emaciated. Like all of the other strays, we started feeding them. They would disappear for days then reappear intermittently, always looking thin but determined. Little Mommy got pregnant twice and after many fruitless searches, we were never able to locate her kittens. It broke my heart knowing they were out there without anyone to feed or protect them. And even though she seemed tough, there is only so much a small stray cat can do.

This summer she got pregnant a third time. This time I was determined to find her kittens no matter what. We followed her repeatedly across the road to our neighbors barn but she would never lead us to her hiding spot. Several evenings when our neighbors were not home, my daughters and I would search their barn. My older daughter would shine the flashlight from her iPhone while I searched every crack, crevice and hay stack, while my younger daughter, who is afraid of spiders (ha) would keep watch outside, warning us each time she saw an oncoming car. [And yes I do believe that might be considered breaking and entering but the door was unlocked, so..].

After 2 weeks of ardent searching, we finally found them. She had made a nest in the corner of the barn. Six, 2-week old kittens, hiding in plain sight on the floor of the barn where 75 + cows walked, ate and slept. It amazed me that one had not accidentally stepped on and killed one.

That evening we had 6 beautiful two week old kittens in our house. *heavy sigh*

My daughters were thrilled. KITTENS. However, I felt my usual range of emotions: exhausted, overwhelmed and yes, also KITTENS. I am human of course.

The next few weeks were fun. We layered the floor of our guest bathroom with soft blankets and cat toys. We kept them isolated with their mom so she had a quiet place to feed them and rest. Every evening we would let them explore and play.

If six kittens sounds like a lot, let me reassure you. IT IS A LOT. A lot of fun but also a lot of work.

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That was 4 weeks ago.

Today they are 6 weeks old and running and jumping and playing and so much cuteness. They are the most adorably sweet kittens I have ever seen. And I am not biased at all.

But unfortunately it’s not fair to keep six, ever-growing kittens locked up in a small guest bath all day long. They have outgrown the room and need space to exercise and play. They need forever homes.

I posted photos of them on social media (IG, FB and twitter]. I shared photos and videos with people I work with and I even stopped a man in the cat food aisle at Target to show him how cute they were.  I am not proud to admit that I did this, but he was sweet and actually considered taking one. Still,  I was unable to find homes for any of them. *even heavier sigh*

We always knew we could take them to a shelter but still, I was hopeful I would be able to find them homes myself.

From day one, I decided we would keep the mom because I knew she would be considered un-adoptable. No one ever wants a grown cat, especially when they can have a kitten instead.  So for 4 very long weeks we tried to make it work. Although she was friendly around people, she became very aggressive and defensive around our other pets, repeatedly attacking our older cat and dog. But 2 years of barely surviving had hardened her.

This week, I finally made the extremely difficult decision to give her up. 😦

The plan is to take her to the shelter [along with her kittens] and hope with every ounce of my heart that a kind person will see through her tough exterior and give her the loving home she deserves. Even as I write this, my heart is breaking. Because even though we’ve only had her in our home for a short time, I know her tough exterior is just that: a wall she created to protect herself out of the need to survive. I also know that underneath lies a beautifully sweet animal that is so deserving of kind and loving home.

And as horrible as I feel about giving her up, I know that is just how life is. Each one of us does what we can to make the world a better place. We help each other out. We volunteer our time. We rescue stray dogs and cats.  Even if it’s just one small gesture, we do what we can and hope someone else comes along and picks it up from where we left off.

Life is sort of like passing the baton. You pass the baton to the next person and hope they’ll keep it going. You hope they’ll pay it forward too and help the next person (or animal) who is in need.

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This weekend we are taking Little Mommy and her kittens to a wonderful shelter in Baltimore. Unfortunately, we have gone through this process before. We know the shelter staff are kind and that all of them will be safe. We’ve done all we can do and now it’s time to pass the baton.  All of the kittens are healthy and sweet.  We know that anyone who is lucky enough to adopt one will have a loving and affectionate friend for the rest of their life. And they are still young enough where they have a really good chance of being adopted.

So this weekend we’ll make the hour long drive to the shelter. My daughters and I will cry as we attempt to say goodbye to each one. Our hearts will break when it’s finally time to leave. The drive back home will seem even longer. I’ll stop along the way to get them ice cream in the hopes of cheering them up. But it won’t make a difference.  When we return home, we’ll all cry again because the house feels so empty. Each time we use the guest bathroom, we’ll remember how excited they would get each time we came home and opened the door, and we’ll feel sad all over again.

We hope that some kind person at the SPCA will watch over them until they find homes. And I hope that one kind stranger, an angel perhaps, will see Little Mommy cat and decide that she is the one they want and that she deserves a loving forever home, too.

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If you are reading this and think you would like to adopt either the mom or one of her kittens [or if you have any questions at all] please contact me ASAP. Thank you.

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Christmas Trees For Sale

When I was 4 years old, my father lost his job on the Friday before Thanksgiving. All throughout his adult life, my father never once called in sick. Even so, due to the lagging economy that year, he and many other employees were laid off from the local aluminum factory. With less than a month before Christmas, a mortgage to pay and three children, my father had to figure out a way to support our family. My sisters were 7 and 8.

One week later, on the day after Thanksgiving, my mother walked 5 miles in the snow down to the shopping center in our town. Her plan was to apply at every single store until she found a job. The first store on the strip mall was Kinney Drugs, a small drugstore chain in upstate NY. She walked in and asked if she could fill out an application. Within an hour, the store manager had hired her. Because Christmas was just a few weeks away, he asked her if she could start right away. The following day she made the 5 mile walk back down to the shopping center and started working as a store clerk. My mother, who had been a stay-at-home-Mom for 8 years, was now supporting our family. She was making minimum wage, less than $6 an hour that year.

*

With Christmas just weeks away, my father decided to take advantage  of  the  season. He thought that maybe he could make some money by selling Christmas trees. Since my mother was now working full-time and we were all too small to stay home alone, Dad loaded my sisters and I into the car and drove us out to a tree farm in Brasher Falls, about 30 minutes away.  When we got to the farm, my father asked my sisters and I to get out of the car. That’s where he left us.  He drove off and we never saw my parents ever again. [Just KIDDING. Just wanted to throw some humor into this sad story.]

At the tree farm, my oldest sister, who was 8, helped my father find the best looking trees while my other sister and I played in the snow.

Dad tagged as many of the best trees as he could find and hired a man to deliver them all back to our house. Later that afternoon, a giant truck pulled up in front of our house and delivered 75 beautiful Scotch Pines. My sisters and I helped Dad tie ropes to the trees so we could drag them into our yard. Living in upstate NY, we had several feet of snow, which made it much easier to display the trees. Dad arranged them neatly in rows, leaving  room  for  potential  customers  to  walk  between  and  around the  trees as they searched for the best ones.

Being only 4, I didn’t really understand why our small yard was now suddenly overflowing with Christmas trees. And I’m not sure what our neighbors thought. But what I do remember is how much fun it was suddenly having 75 trees in our front and back yard.  While Mom was at work at the drug store, my sisters and I were outside in our snowsuits with Dad each day, running and playing in the snow and interacting with the customers. It was a small town, so I’m sure many people knew about our situation.

And even though Mom wasn’t making very much money, Kinney Drugs was one of the biggest toy stores in town at that time. Employees were able to make purchases at cost (which was less than half price), including toys. And because my sisters and I all believed in Santa, Mom made sure there were plenty of presents under our tree that year.

One afternoon a man named Ross  Violi, a local business man and owner of the most popular restaurant in town, came by and bought enough trees  and  boughs to  decorate  his entire restaurant for the holidays.  He could have purchased Christmas trees from anyone else in town. But instead, he decided to buy them all from Dad. Anyone who knows the Violi’s knows what a wonderful and generous family they are. And to this day, my family is very grateful they were so kind to us that year.

After that, word spread throughout town, and soon we were running  out  of  trees.

What had started out as as a risk had paid off. Once again, we made another trip back to the tree farm with Dad for 75  more  trees.

With Christmas only a week or two away, the second load of trees disappeared as well and soon only two or three trees remained in our yard.

On Christmas Eve, there was only one tree left. Just before dark there was a knock at our front door. Outside, a man was standing on our front porch. Dad recognized him. He was a local elementary school teacher with several small children of his own. Because our town was so small, Dad knew he was unemployed too.

He asked Dad, “How much for the Christmas tree?” It was the only tree left on our lot. For several minutes, Dad tried over and over again to get him to take the tree for free. But despite Dads efforts,  and the man knowing that Dad was out of work, too, he insisted on paying for it.

*

Santa visited our house that year and my sisters and I had more than enough presents. I can’t tell you what gifts I received that year. And at the time, I had no idea that Dad had lost his job.

What I do remember is how much fun it was having our yard temporarily transformed into a winter playground filled with snow and hundreds of beautiful Christmas trees. I also remember how Dad, in between selling trees, had  turned part of our back yard into a small skating rink for my sisters and I.  He made trip after trip from the house for boiling water, carrying it out, one kettle at a time, and poured it out onto an area of snow he had smoothed out and turned into a rink, so that my sisters and I could skate in our back yard.

And I’ll never forget how both of my parents, working as a team, made sure that my sisters and I had one of the most beautiful and memorable Decembers I will never forget.

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First Date

She couldn’t stop thinking about him, so there was only one thing to do: go out with someone new, of course.
They agreed to meet at 7pm. She knew even before she met him that she wouldn’t like him. It wouldn’t matter how smart or charming or how handsome he was, she just knew. Simply because he wasn’t him.
She didn’t want to seem as though she was trying too hard, when in fact she didn’t care at all.

The problem with first dates is that every word you say, what drink you order (Scotch or a martini?), the buttons left unbuttoned on your blouse, even the way you look at him- every single thing takes on a particular, subliminal meaning.

But she was the type of girl who wore perfume and her favorite heels to run out for milk. It didn’t matter where she was going. That’s just who she was. So if she just happened to look a certain way, it had absolutely nothing to do with him.

She arrived at 6:48 and ordered a glass of Bordeaux. At 7:02 he walked in. She looked up from her phone. He was taller than she’d expected. He was wearing a suit jacket, a crisp white shirt and dark jeans.

He smiled as he walked toward her.

Why had she agreed to this? If he knew she was out with another man, she wondered, would he be upset?

“Wow. You’re even prettier in person,” he said.
She got up from her chair to greet him. “Thank you.”
They discussed their children and her recent trip to San Antonio (one of her favorite cities) and his job on Capitol Hill. The conversation and wine flowed easily. He was witty and charming.

He even made her laugh. She found herself smiling.

And even though he wasn’t him, the thought occurred to her that maybe, just maybe, she could enjoy spending time with someone else.

She had warned him she needed to leave early, but somehow 8:37pm turned into 10:49. She needed to be up early the next day.

“I really should go,” she said.

“But you haven’t even finished your drink.”

He smiled at her. His eyes were the perfect shade of blue.

She smiled back.

She knew she needed to go.

Finally he walked her to her car.

The moon was full.

“I’d really like to see you again,” he said.

“I’ll text you,” she said.

How did this happen? She should have stayed home.

As she drove home, she received a message. She looked down at her phone. “I’d like to see you again. Any chance you’re free Friday night?”
Suddenly she felt guilty. She hadn’t expected to be interested in anyone else. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

This was only meant to be a distraction from another night spent sitting home alone, thinking about him, with an empty ache in her chest,  waiting for him to finally make up his mind.

She thought about all of the nights spent in his bed. All of the nights they stayed up talking and making love. His hands all over her body. The way he kissed her. How could he just throw that all away?

As she lay in bed that night, the rain poured down outside her window.

The next morning she checked her phone again. No missed calls.

She had been thinking about him. But he hadn’t been thinking of her. Even so, she decided to give him one more week. Maybe he would figure it all out and realize he really did want to be with her. Or maybe she would finally decide to walk away for good.

Just then she received a text: “Looking forward to seeing you.”  

It had finally stopped raining. She needed to get dressed. She didn’t want to be late for work.

She looked out her window. The sky was slate blue. And she was indecisive.

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The Break Up Text

“He broke up with you by text?” That’s usually the first thing your friends say, soon followed by “What a huge jerk” when they discover a guy sent you a Break Up Text.

Not “Oh, are you okay?” or “I’m so sorry.” Somehow, the fact that he broke up via a text message always takes center stage. Oh the horror of it all.

There’s a very funny episode of  Sex and the City where Carrie’s boyfriend, Berger, breaks up with her via a Post-It note. The episode centers around how horrible Berger is for doing it in this way, how insulting it is to Carrie and other equally deplorable methods of breaking up (by telephone, carrier pigeon, etc.).

He simply writes: “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.” Then he leaves in the middle of the night and she discovers the break-up Post-it the next morning.

“Don’t hate me”?

First of all, right after a break up, he or she is definitely going to hate you. At least temporarily anyway. Because hating the person is one of the 5 stages of Breaking Up. [Denial, Anger aka: I Hate You, Bargaining, Sadness, and finally Acceptance.]

But the good news is that your ex will almost always un-hate you as soon as they get over you. Which is probably pretty quickly since, if you broke up via a text (or a Post-it note) that probably means you only dated for 5 minutes anyway. And how could you possibly hate someone that you barely knew?


Not too long ago, I dated a guy for 9 weeks (I hate that I know exactly how many weeks we were together, because UGH). Anyway, we never discussed our feelings. Seriously? Who discusses feelings anymore? The New Thing is to pretend you don’t have any. Everyone knows that. (Although he may have said “I like you” once, but we were drinking and the room was very dark, so I could be wrong.)

And we never defined the relationship. Instead, I decided to be the cool and casual Just Go With The Flow Girl.

And I was. I decided not to worry where it was going and to just enjoy it and to focus on the having fun part. So that’s exactly what I did.

And even though I never once brought up the whole “Are we in a relationship?” thing, my friends would occasionally ask me and I admit those thoughts were floating around in my head those last few weeks.

So it’s not surprising that late one night, when I may or may not have had too much to drink, that I may or may not have brought up the word ‘intimacy’ in conversation. UGH, again.

I don’t exactly recall the entire (short) conversation, but I do know it was absolutely nothing like those scenes you see in movies where he professes his love to her and they make love in front of a perfectly lit fire and it all romantically ends with mutual I love you’s. It was exactly the opposite of that.

The next morning things felt a bit awkward, so I came right out and asked him “Are we okay? Are we going to continue seeing each other?” [I should add that it’s not easy for me to be that blunt, but I’ve learned that being honest and straight forward is always best.]

He assured me that we were fine. He nervously laughed, got dressed and then he left. And that was the end of that.

That was Sunday morning.

Three days later, on a beautiful and sunny afternoon, I discovered that things were not “fine” at all when I received The Break Up Text.

Looking back, I knew things weren’t fine on the morning I asked him. And yes, he probably should have just ended it then on that Sunday before he left. But I’m not mad or upset that he waited three days. Or that he ended it via text message.

And here’s why:

1. We were only together for 9 weeks. And even if we did spend 2 – 3 nights together each week, that still isn’t a very long time to really know someone. The truth is, there were probably a dozen signs that things weren’t going to work out. And in 9 weeks, I successfully managed to ignore them all. So it’s partially my fault for deciding not to see them.

2. We never discussed exclusivity and we never defined the relationship. So as far as I know, he was still actively dating other women on tinder, etc. So unless you’ve discussed those things, do you really have a right to be angry if it suddenly all ends?

3. I once had a guy break up with me at 2am on a Saturday after we’d been drinking vodka all night. After a deep discussion (because it’s always best to have a discussion after you’ve been drinking vodka), he abruptly got up and left. Yes, at 2am, and yes, when we were both pretty hammered. As drunk as I was, I distinctly remember freaking the fuck out, because DRUNK. That may be the absolute worst time to break up with someone, ever. So in comparison, receiving a text at 3pm on a Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon while sitting at your desk, completely clear headed (and sober) is 100% better than having a guy leave you at 2am on a Saturday night when you’re so toasted it’s impossible to think straight. So, thank you, I think?

4. I used to think – like so many people still do- that breaking up over text is the cowardly thing to do. Why not just tell someone it’s over to their face? Well, as noble as that may sound, I’m not so sure I want a guy breaking up with me in person. Because if I really like him, which I probably do (otherwise, why would I be dating you  for 9+ weeks?) there’s a very good chance I might start to cry. And no matter how hot or cute you think you are, no one looks pretty when they’re crying. NO ONE. And even if I don’t cry, I’m still going to be pretty upset/ sad/ annoyed and feeling a myriad of other emotions, and I’d much rather deal with all of them in private. Guys honestly have no idea what to do when a girl gets upset and/or starts to cry, and it becomes very frustrating for both parties. So it’s actually a good thing to break up over text. It gives both people time and space to deal with an unpleasant situation in private. It’s best that we both walk away feeling good (or as good as possible) about the situation as we can. People tend to get upset after a break up, which just adds unwanted drama to the situation and who needs that? Certainly not me.

5. I suspect that in those 3 days that he waited, that he gave his decision to end things a lot of thought. And I admit that I had been thinking everything over, too. I always try to think things  thoroughly through before making any major decisions, so I respect the fact that he took a few days to think it over before he made a thoughtful decision to tell me.

6. I needed time alone to think. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t having doubts, too. I don’t think bringing up intimacy after 9 weeks is rushing things. It’s not like we had just met yesterday. So if a guy freaks out over that, then he definitely isn’t the one for me. And if the relationship – and more importantly, if I- meant that little to him, then really? What more needs to be said?

Nothing. So let’s just end it and move on.



When it comes to casual relationships, I don’t see why the Break Up Text is really all that bad. It’s not like you were married. You’re not ending a long term, committed relationship where there are children and a mortgage and 20 years of memories involved.

You were casually dating. There wasn’t any commitment.  So you know what? Breaking up via text or even a Post-it note may not be the best way to end things, but it’s certainly not the worst way either.

In fact, maybe it’s the most painless and kindest way to go. ♦


Here is the infamous scene from SATC, The Post It Break Up. [Click the link twice to view it on youtube.] Enjoy. Xx

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The (New) Rules of Dating


According to Wikipedia, Dating is a part of the human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. But anyone who has been single in the last 5-10 years knows that more accurately, dating just means “we are sleeping together.” And by sleeping, I mean having sex.

This may be hard to believe but I have dated guys and never had sex with them. Shocking, isn’t it?

My senior year of high school I met my first love. Every Friday night, he would come into the DQ where I worked and always order the same thing. A hot dog and a chocolate sundae. He would smile at me and I would immediately blush. Within a few weeks we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I’m not exactly sure how the transition to boyfriend and girlfriend went, but it happened pretty naturally. I liked him and he liked me. There wasn’t any game playing or weeks of guessing or obscure text messages to decipher.

We were just 2 young people who liked each other and so we started to date. We talked on the phone every night. He sent me flowers and love notes. We took walks on the beach and my Mom would yell at me the next day for getting sand all over the house. We watched t.v. in my parents living room and made out on the couch. In the year we were together, I never slept with him. It was dating in it’s simplest, sweetest form.

Fast forward to now.

One divorce, two children and three LTR’s later, I admit that I do not understand dating. At all.

Every single aspect of it has changed since then.

Back then, if a guy liked you he would ask you out. And if the date went well, he would take you out again. You would start seeing each other regularly and magically, you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Now, a guy can send you 47 text messages, spend three weekends with you and you still might never know how he actually feels about you. Are you just friends? Or friends with benefits? Maybe you’re just a rebound?  Or maybe he’s biding his time until something better comes along? Or maybe (like one guy I spent 6+ months with said to me) you’re just hanging out.

Hanging out? Don’t kids just “hang out” at the mall? And how does that relate to dating? What the hell does that even mean? I still don’t know.

Everything used to be so simple. Then dating websites and cell phones and social media and tinder changed everything.

Thanks to modern technology, you can immediately find someone within a 5 mile radius to hook up with and have sex. People don’t want relationships anymore. Why would you settle for one person when you can easily find a different person to have sex with each weekend? And if you do find someone interested in monogamy, you have to deal with the fact that they are still “just friends” with all of their exes. She’s stalking him on Facebook or maybe he’s “not ready” for a commitment, or he just “doesn’t know what he wants”, and it makes you wonder if it would have been easier to stay in your last relationship, just to avoid all the confusion and drama.

The whole process of dating has become ridiculously complex. How did something as simple as “I like you and you like me” turn into such a complicated mess?

So in an attempt to clarify things, here are The New Dating Rules I’ve learned along the way:

1.Never mention your relationship status. Confused? Not sure where you stand? Good. That’s the new normal now. And if you ever become tempted to ask that new person in your life “Where is this relationship going?” just don’t. That is the absolute kiss of death for any new relationship. Better to remain in the dark and guess and be confused than to end up alone.

2. Relationship vs. Sex. It used to be that people wanted to be in a relationship. To find that one person who is your best friend and lover; a partner who understands, supports and loves you unconditionally. That was called a LTR (long term relationship). Now, many people are only interested in finding NCS (no commitment sex).  And just because you’re having sex with someone on a regular basis does not necessarily mean that person has actual feelings for you. Confused? Want to ask this person how they feel or if it’s a LTR or a NCS? Don’t. See Rule 1.

3. Texting vs. Talking. No one talks on the phone anymore. Talking has become as outdated as flip phones. Talking on the phone is stupid. It’s all about texting now. But texts should not be too short or too long. Also, be very careful how you word your text because they can be easily misinterpreted. One badly worded text can turn into a huge misunderstanding that leads to you never hearing from this person ever again. So good luck!

4. Wait to Reply to Texts. It’s important to wait the right amount of time before replying so that you don’t seem too eager. So how long do you wait? As a general rule: Wait 4 hours to reply. And if a guy waits 4 hours to reply back to your text, wait an additional 4 hours to reply back, but add 30 minutes to 2 hours to the 4 hour rule, making the total wait time 4.5 – 6 hours. Unless it falls past midnight, then you should wait until the following day to reply. This pattern continues until eventually you both wait so long to reply, that you completely forget about each other, meet new people and the whole process starts all over again with someone else.

5. Release the Skeletons. In the age of the Internet, expect that you will be Googled. And any secrets you’ve been trying to keep will likely come out. Remember that DUI you got when you were 21? Or the time you were arrested for selling drugs in college? Well, at some point, your date will find out about any crimes you may have committed in the past. So if things seems to be going really great and then one day, POOF, this person suddenly disappears? There’s a good chance he/she Googled you and discovered you were a stripper for 3 years while you were putting yourself through college.

6. Play Hard to Get, But Not Too Hard to Get. Everyone is busy. But everyone has their cell phone within reach most of the time. It’s okay to play hard to get in the beginning. Rushing things early on is a turn off. But constantly playing hard to get by ignoring someone will result in losing them. Especially when there is a sea of attractive, smart people ready to take their place. So if you really like someone, you’d better let them know. But don’t say too much or you might come across as clingy and needy and they will dump you. It’s your job to find that fine line and not to cross it.

7. Don’t Assume Exclusivity. Even if you’ve been dating for several months, do not assume you are exclusive. In the age of tinder and internet dating, multi-dating is very common. So unless you’ve discussed and agreed not to date other people, assume that he/she is seeing [and possibly having sex with] other people. After all, Caitlyn Bristow, The Bachelorette,  was able to date [and have sex with] multiple guys on national television and that was considered socially acceptable, so don’t assume this person would think any differently. Isn’t dating fun?


I knew a guy for 2.5 years on two social media sites. Yet in reality, we were still pretty much strangers. Our online friendship slowly evolved into mutual flirting and a “Let’s take this to the next level” type thing. But when I asked him to call me so we could have an actual conversation, he replied “What more do you need to know about me?” Seriously? So if I follow you on 1 or 2 social media sites, we get to bypass the whole “Getting to know each other stage”? Um, No thanks.

Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to get to know someone through actual conversations and spending time together. I want to sit in a cozy restaurant and drink martini’s and talk for hours. I want to hear about the things you are interested in and talk about things we both care about. I want to hear all your corny jokes and see your facial expressions and hear you laugh. You have to spend actual time together.


And as far as rules, I have a few of my own. Good morning and good night texts are great, but I prefer out of the blue, unexpected texts when you say “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Don’t disappear during the week and only text me on the weekend, so I know you’re not just looking for a booty call. Take an interest in my life and be ready for me to ask you questions about yours.

Let’s spend a weekend together and drive through the country and explore places we’ve never seen before, together. Let’s lie in bed for hours and talk about everything and nothing.

Take me out. Woo me. It doesn’t have to be complicated or fancy. It could be as simple as seeing a movie together or hiding in the corner of a bar and talking and making out. Introduce me to your friends so I know I’m not some girl you want to keep hidden on the side.

And most importantly, I won’t ask you where the relationship is heading or what I mean to you. Because if I genuinely mean something to you, I’ll never have to guess. A man who adores you will treat you that way and he’ll make sure you always know.

Inexplicable

photo (3)

The older we get and the more life we experience, we often become wiser in many ways.

I have found the exact opposite to be true when it comes to love. And maybe that’s because the more I’ve loved, the more I question everything about it. It’s such a huge emotion and unlike any other feeling in the world. All encompassing and rare in it’s truest form. So it makes complete sense that it mystifies even the smartest of people.

There was a time when I believed without any uncertainty that I was in love. And at some point in each long term relationship, I did believe it was love.

Now I find myself questioning my own feelings, even when it feels like it couldn’t be anything but love.

In my younger days, I was completely open- almost to a fault- when I poured my heart out to a man, without fear.

Then, after having my heart broken, I swore I would never be the first to say those words ever again. Hoping that he’d just know by the way I held his hand in the middle of the night when we’re tangled up in bed. Or by the way I look at him after a long, lingering kiss when it feels like nothing else in the world exists.

All it takes is one bad heart break to completely change a person. And so I became completely guarded and protective.

Until I met a man who made me feel like I could open up to someone again. I’m not sure exactly what made me do it, but one night, after too much wine, I said those three little, huge enormously frightening words.

It’s amazing how saying such a small sentence can hold so much meaning. How it can completely change everything.

And sadly, being hurt has made me become the girl who has a tendency to run away. Even when every fiber of my being is saying “You love him. Don’t run away.”

I’m not sure why I push men away. Maybe I’m afraid of getting hurt again. Or maybe I’m afraid of having my heart broken and it’s easier to end things on my own terms versus waiting for the bomb to drop. [OMG, THAT’S IT, ISN’T IT?]

Maybe the reason I push men away and question my own feelings is because they hold back. Men are even more afraid than women are when it comes to opening up. Many men fear commitment. So is it any wonder why women hold back, too? AND WHY IS LOVE SO FUCKING SCARY ANYWAY?

You can hold back as much as you like, but you can’t control your feelings and you can’t stop yourself from falling for someone. It’s like jumping off a cliff and halfway down, suddenly deciding you want to go back up again. There is no point of return when it comes to falling in love. You just have to let yourself fall and hope the other person catches you [or some romantic metaphor like that]. And you can’t control who you fall for or why it happens because love knows no reason or logic.

And you don’t have to understand it and it doesn’t have to make any sense. Because love is missing someone even before they’ve left. Love is listening to her talk – even when the conversation is about nothing at all. Love is wanting to know about his childhood, and how he became the man he is today. Love is lying in bed together and talking for hours, not caring if you get any sleep. Love is driving an hour out of your way to bring him cold medicine and ice cream when he’s sick. Even if it means being late for work. Love is wanting her to meet your mother and your friends because you can’t wait to show her off. Because you know everyone will fall in love with her, too.

Love is having that one person- who’s both your best friend and lover- that you can share everything with, knowing they won’t judge you. Because no matter what you say, you know they’ll love you anyway.

Love is scary and heart wrenching and hopeless and passionate and amazing and elusive and life altering and inexplicable in so many ways. And those who don’t understand that have never experienced that kind of love.

And just writing about love makes me crave all those wonderful feelings.  The electricity between two people who have that mental and physical connection that transforms sex into something deeper and more erotic and explosive. And at other times, the slow deliciousness of making love that only two people who are  genuinely connected can experience.  The way two lives become entwined by time and shared experiences and unspoken words.

Because that’s what love is: an intangible, inexplicable connection that ties two hearts and two lives together in such a way, it’s virtually impossible to break them apart. Even if it’s only for a short time. And isn’t that what everyone wants? Because love truly is the most amazing feeling in the world.

So maybe taking a chance and opening up to someone- no matter how scary it may be- and risking having your heart broken really is worth it– when you think of everything you can gain.

photo (2)

Love (Sex)

 My own random thoughts, silly and serious,

on two of my favorite subjects:

love and sex.

She’s only beautiful
if you’re wildly in love with her.
Otherwise, she’s just another girl.
___

Sex so good, your penis gets up an hour before you do and makes us both breakfast.

___

Maybe she writes about love so much because that’s the only thing that really matters.

___

The more you care about someone, the further you should push them away.

I just pushed this guy off a cliff.

I bet I really liked him a lot.

___

Spend the entire night with me, talking and kissing and snuggling in bed,

without trying to have sex with me, so I know it’s really real.

___

Earth Day Tip:

Show her you love her and the Earth by giving her a handwritten love letter on a recycled paper towel,

then use it to clean up the mess after sex. Xx

___

You can’t fit a million memories into one goodbye.

And it’s equally impossible to imagine a million surprises

hidden behind one new hello.

___

You’ll fall for her and she’ll completely fall for you.

You’ll break her heart and she’ll completely break yours, too. That’s just how love is.

___

I can ignore you so hard, you’ll think we actually had sex.

___

When we meet that one person

who has the ability to make us shine,

we become extraordinary together.

___

Mentioning sex in a conversation with a guy is like talking to your dog while holding a bone in your hand.

Both of them ONLY HEAR BONE.

___

It might be love when he tells you about all of the places he wants to take you

and all of the things he wants to show you.

___

The Bachelorette is so realistic.

I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve dated who’ve told me they were in love with BEFORE we had sex.

SO, SO MANY.

___

Ask any guy and most will have a story of how he was in love with an amazing girl —

And ultimately how he lost her.

___

Before falling in love, people should be forced to sky dive out of an airplane.

But only 23% of the parachutes actually work.

___

I used to think I wanted to be in a relationship.

Now my only goal is making sure I don’t text the other person more than he texts me.

___

I just told this guy he was too young for me to date.

He laughed and then I laughed and then we started making out on his Batman bed sheets.

___

In the story of us, we love.
We fall apart. We walk away.
Days, weeks and months pass until finally we discover
We could not live without each other.

 ___

It’s not really love unless he invites your dog to stay over, too.

___

Men are hard-wired to rush through sex.

But it’s so much hotter and sexier if you can make the girl so crazy that she initiates everything.

___

If you don’t think about her enough to want to

text her and talk to her at least once, every single day,

then don’t even fucking bother.

___

If you really want her badly enough,

you’ll find a way to have her.

___

If I ever say I love you while we’re fucking,

it’s only because I love you while we’re fucking.

___

I tell young guys I can’t date them because of their age.

They laugh and I laugh and 2 weeks later I’m buying a dress for the homecoming dance.

___

It doesn’t really matter if it’s your first time

or the last one you’ll ever have.

Nothing will ever fuck with your head more than love.

___

Relationship advice:

Don’t ever chase a man.
The one who knows your worth will never let you go.

___

All women really want is to be treated like your wallet or cell phone:
For you to freak the fuck out if you ever think you lost us.

 

___
Dating Tip: When a guy sends you a confusing text, ask 3-5 strangers
in the nearest bar/restaurant/coffee shop to help you interpret it.
___
A person who doesn’t believe that a man can be beautiful,
has never been wildly in love before.

___

A guy told me I can borrow his juicer.
He said it’s great for veggies and even better with fruits like pineapple.
PINEAPPLE? WE ALL KNOW HE JUST WANTS SEX.
___
There’s really only one quality a guy needs to have
that can almost guarantee a girl will fall for him:
He only wants her.
___
Prison Sex and the City
___
  
The first thing I ever said to him was I love you.
Because sometimes your heart knows before you do.
 ___
My go to move is not texting you back because I read guys love the chase but also
because I may have deleted your number. OMG PLEASE TEXT ME AGAIN.
___
I will open my heart to you.
I will hand you the moon, the stars and the sun.
And just as quickly and without notice, I will take them all away.
___
He fell in love with everything that you could never be.
In a world full of ordinary,
he fell in love with me.
___
The 1st month of a relationship is the best.
Everything after that is like knowing an asteroid is going to hit but not knowing exactly when.
___
The right guy will appreciate that there are times when I have to be alone,
just as much as the times when I desperately need to be with him.
___
Dating Tip: Invite a guy you just met to a wedding.
During the ceremony, whisper “I do too.”
Also, don’t wear any underwear. GUYS LOVE THAT.
___
We’re so afraid of doing things that make us feel good.
Eat cake.
Drink wine.
Have sex with a beautiful stranger.
We only get one life. Live it.
 
___
PS: I have never had sex with a beautiful stranger because
I’M NOT A WHORE.
___
The only drawback to having sex on a regular basis is daydreaming about sex all day
because you’re having sex on a regular basis.
___
Every once in a very rare while, two hearts become so entangled
it becomes completely impossible to separate them.
___
True or False: If he had sex with you, it means he cares.
True. He cares about whether or not you’ll have sex with him again.
NEXT QUESTION.
 
___
She climbs into bed, wrapping herself around him
Her head on his chest
So she can hear his heart beating
As the rest of the world fades away.
___
Speed dating: Because I only need 7 minutes to figure out I don’t like you
but I get to show off my pretty new dress to 47 people all at once.
___
Maybe we weren’t soul mates
But we fell in love anyway
Drawn together like the moon pulls the tides
And every moment after that was special.
___
Relationship goal: To never fall asleep during sex.
___
Make me fall in love with you, every time we are together.
And if you can do that, the rest will all fall into place.
___
Sometimes I get worried & ask the guy I’m dating
if I’m too dirty for him.
He laughs and I laugh and then we finish having sex in the barn.
___
I suspect that people who genuinely and passionately love each other,
probably hurt each other the most deeply.
___
Relationship goal: Become the guy.
*Do nothing, make zero effort and still get sex.
___
A fun thing to do when you’re dating someone new
is to take a weekend trip together,
get into a drunken argument, then cry all the way home.
___
It’s a beautiful notion to think you can be friends with an ex-love.
But if they were meant to be just a friend,
you would have never fallen in love with them.
___
The Top 4 Diets:
– The South Beach
– The I Can’t Afford Food Diet
– The Heartbreak Diet
– The I Met a New Guy & We’re Having Tons of Sex Diet
___
It’s very easy to say I love you when you don’t really mean it.
And almost impossible to say when you actually do.
___
I already know you’re going to break my heart.
And even that’s not enough to stop me.
___
OMG I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH PLEASE COME BACK.
– Girls, 5 minutes after they’ve broken up with you 17 times.
 
___
Say ‘I love you’ as many times as you want
but until you give me a hoodie
and leave your toothbrush at my house, YOUR WORDS MEAN NOTHING.
___
Sure, we could end this now
but then we’d miss out on all the fun parts like the crying,
the make up sex and traumatizing each other for life.
___
I don’t believe that you truly love someone
until you’ve laughed together, experienced pain together
and shared a part of your lives with each other.
___
Do yourself a favor.
Delete his phone number, put on something pretty and finally say yes to the guy
who’s actually wanted you all along. 
___
When your heart is completely focused on something,
everything else in your life becomes invisible.
___
Love her anyway.
___
We fell in love for all the wrong reasons
In the most beautiful, tragic, extraordinary way.
Anything else would have been an impossibility.
___
You could see 50 Shades of Grey
and watch others have fake movie sex.
Or you could go out, drink wine and
HAVE ACTUAL SEX WITH A REAL PERSON
___
Falling in love is the best way to end up
hating each other for the rest of your lives.
– Inspirational
___
One of the biggest flaws of the mind is
believing you’ll never get over someone.
The biggest flaw of the heart is not allowing yourself to.
___
At some point my life turned into eat, pray, love.
But more like drink, fuck, love.
Or fuck you, I loved you and now I hate you.
One of those.
___
Fall in love with someone emotionally unavailable at least once in your life
so you get the full experience of
what true heartbreak is like.
___
Maybe the true definition of love is they can still see all of the good in you,
even after you’ve screwed up
and they still love you anyway.
___
Sometimes it feels like the universe is trying to keep us apart.
But some stars were destined to collide.
No matter what.
___
Falling in – and out – of love is completely uncontrollable.
That’s the tragic beauty of love.
___
I think we are taught to love a certain way
But the best kind of love is one that makes you see,
feel and think about the world differently.
___
If you think saying I love you is difficult,
just wait until the day you have to tell that same person
that you stopped.
___
I had a sex dream about you last night.
And now I really want a hoodie.
___
 If you love someone, set them free.
Then keep sending ‘love you’ texts to remind them because
maybe they have amnesia and forgot to come back.
___
The best way to get over someone is to drink until you can’t walk
then throw yourself off a cliff.
I haven’t worked out all the details yet.
___
Many things will change your life.
But nothing changes you more beautifully than finding love.
___
 I hit a patch of ice and almost crashed my car
And my entire life flashed before my eyes.
OMG WHY DIDNT I HAVE MORE SEX WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE?
___
Every person deserves that one intensely passionate love affair,
that no matter how long it lasts,
remains forever imprinted in their heart.
___
Love is finding that one person
who you connect with
Who inspires you to become a better version of yourself.
___
If you get drunk and start crying over how your cat died
you can usually get out of the whole
“He bought me dinner and now I owe him sex” thing.
___
There’s a reason you let each other go.
Embrace it, move on knowing the person you were
truly meant to be with is out there waiting for you.
___
If you don’t follow up your “Good morning beautiful” with
a “Goodnight beautiful” text,
THEN NO, I WON’T BE YOUR STUPID FUCKING VALENTINE.
___
When you love someone completely, the entire world resides within their heart.
It’s not something you can explain. It’s something you feel.
___
Love is amazing. It can change your life 100%
And those who don’t understand that are the ones who’ve
never experienced that kind of love.
___
I’ve learned true love is seeing a broken person clearly,
knowing every ugly thing about them,
But still loving them beyond comprehension.
___
True love is when you accidentally break my heart.
But always finding a way to fix it over and over again.
___
Sext: I think I’m finally done crying.
___
I will always be that foolish girl
Who still believes in love.
___
It’s not really love unless you’re scarred for life.
And if you’re both scarred for life, then you’re probably soul mates.
___
I only tried ruining your life because
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
___
The less you know about someone, the easier it is to love them.
___
I will love you to the moon and back,
but mostly to my bed, then in the shower
then maybe the floor then back to the bed then…
Sexting is hard.

___

In a world where horrible things happens every day,

I want to believe in happy endings

and I need to believe in love.

So I guess I just will.

The Kiss - Gustav Klimt

The Kiss – Gustav Klimt

Unhinged

 

A strange thing happens when I cry
My eyes turn a dark blue green
And it’s impossible to hide the fact that I’ve been crying

 

What is it about the feeling of love that makes us feel invincible

When suddenly everything in the world just glows
Including you
And when we lose that feeling of love – real or not- it seems like the entire universe crumbles and falls apart around you
And for a short time it seems nothing can make you smile
Because all you feel is the loss of something missing

The ache of emptiness that temporarily consumes you

When you cry so much that your heart and your head just ache


There are some moments of sadness when it feels like you’ll never recover
But deep down inside you know you will

Because you always do

But in that moment you feel like you want to disappear
And you replay it all over and over again in your head
Wondering what you did wrong and wishing you had done something differently
Worrying about the most pointless things
Like maybe you weren’t good enough
And how you spent hours preparing and trying to make everything perfect
When the reality is none of those things matter
Not one little bit
It doesn’t matter how beautiful he thinks you are or how perfect your body is or is not or if you or how much you care or how hard you tried
The truth is you probably didn’t do anything wrong and sometimes you can do everything right and it still doesn’t matter
Because it has nothing to do with you and absolutely everything to do with the other person
You have no control over what the other person says or thinks or does
No control over what they do or if they decide to leave

And I understand why men think women are crazy sometimes
Because love makes us crazy
It makes you say and do unthinkable things because you can’t possibly think clearly when you are in that state
When someone you cared about walks out of your life forever
When something that was meaningful and important is suddenly
Gone
You become unhinged
It’s like stopping your car in the middle of the road or reading a book only halfway through
You can’t abruptly slam on the brakes and stop somewhere in the middle
You can’t make sense of something when a huge part of it is missing
You have to go all the way through and complete the entire journey
Love and relationships need to run their natural course

In the end you have to accept that there are certain things that you’ll never understand
Some people do things and you have no control over their actions or why they did it or the outcome
All you can do is control how you think and how you react

And it’s not that much different than being in an accident when you’ve been thrown from your car and you’re in a situation that’s suddenly unrecognizable and foreign and confusing

It’s impossible to brace for the impact

And it takes time to recover and to make sense of something you don’t recognize or fully understand
All you can do is to allow yourself time to grieve and heal


And you know you’ll recover because you’ve felt this way before and you’ll feel this way again

But that doesn’t make it easier

Because you only meet amazing people a very few rare times throughout your life

People who have the ability to touch you in some invisible way, who change you forever

And no matter how many times you’ve imagined it happening, it’s always devastating and it always hurts like hell

Because you can’t walk into someone’s life and share a part of it, then just walk out without feeling some kind of loss

People are not cars that you take out for a test drive

A persons life isn’t a revolving door where you can swing in and out without affecting them in some way

And your presence – and eventual absence- in someone’s life does matter

It changes us in some small or significant way

And the people we cared about and maybe even loved – even for a short time –  in some small way, stay with us forever

“Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

Louis de Bernieres

Unhinged: Random Thoughts on Love, Loss and Pain – Just some random personal thoughts strewn together.

 

The Affair

As her date droned on, she noticed a group of guys laughing and drinking beer a few feet away. The bar was loud and crowded. She couldn’t make out their faces. Except for one.

Her date asked her a question.

“What?” All she could hear was this handsome stranger laughing a few feet away.

She caught him staring at her. So she smiled back. And no sooner had her date left to make a phone call, she looked up to see his face smiling down at her.

He asked her her name. Before she could answer, he said “You’re beautiful.”

Soon they were walking down the street together, huddled close in the winter wind. They passed a group of loud girls, smoking and an old man walking his dog.

He grabbed her hand and led her across the street and into another bar. His hand felt warm and strong.

“Two vodka tonics” he said to the bartender. Despite the toasty fire crackling in the fireplace, the bar was practically empty.

He said something funny and she laughed. Suddenly his hand was on her waist, gently pulling her closer. She thought he might kiss her. But instead he leaned over and whispered into her ear.

She’d always been attracted to quirky. But only when it was perfectly mixed with intelligence and wit and charm and of course humor.

And he was all of the above.

And the fact that he was tall was the cherry on the all ready delicious cake.

Two hours later, they were in his apartment. He offered to take her coat. She politely declined.

“I really should go,” she said. As she started to leave, he leaned over and kissed her. Soft and slow at first, then deeper and passionately. She wanted to tear off her coat and throw her clothes on the floor. But instead she kissed him one last time and left.

The 18 minute drive home felt like an hour.

Two nights later she was in his apartment again. A bottle of Patron sat on his countertop next to a basket of fresh raspberries. How did he know those were her favorites?

He was wearing dark jeans and a long sleeved tee and a boyish grin. He opened the tequila and she did a shot to take the edge off. They drank and talked and kissed. He told her about his family. She talked about her new job. They kissed and talked and drank some more. His lips were on her neck. Her hands were on his waist.

She knew she wanted to sleep with him but there were so many reasons not to. But maybe even more reasons why she should. His lips tasted like tequila and raspberries and perfection. He pulled her closer and she whispered into his ear “Where’s your room?”

A candle was burning on his nightstand. His room smelled like red velvet cake. His bed sheets were dark gray. She could hear music playing from the apartment next door.

His curtains were slightly drawn and she could see the moon outside his window. He kissed her as she started to unbutton his pants. Their hands were everywhere. She could feel the weight of his body on hers and every doubt she had disappeared from her mind. Every movement felt electric. The candle flickered next to the bed. He felt perfect and delicious and intoxicating.

At 6:15am the alarm went off on her cell phone. He helped her locate her clothes as she hurriedly dressed. He followed her to the door. All he was wearing were a pair of dark blue gym shorts. His chest was smooth and perfect. She kissed him goodbye.

They started meeting 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes it would be at her house and sometimes, his. They’d snuggle on the couch and watch a movie, but mostly they would talk and drink and make out for hours before falling into a heap in bed. And in the morning he would always tell her how beautiful her eyes were.

It was easy and fun and exhilarating and uncomplicated. Weeks and months passed. Sexy texts and flirty conversations. She knew it wouldn’t last – they both knew – but it felt good now. And he was smart and sexy and he was so drawn to her and their bodies fit so perfectly together. The sex was addictive. She knew she couldn’t say no.

Then something happened. It doesn’t matter what. Because something always happens. He started to get too close and he said something that hurt her feelings. And she held back because she knew it could never be anymore than it was. He pushed her away and she pushed him away further. She imagined she would never see his beautiful face ever again so she busied herself with work and meaningless things.

The weather grew colder and she would lie awake at night thinking about him. He imagined her with someone else and it drove him insane. But neither of them contacted each other. They were both too stubborn and practical, and she was so busy. But not too busy to lie awake at night imagining all the nights they had spent together in her bed.

And he stayed busy too. But he could still smell her on his pillows and he imagined her body wrapped around his.

And the days and weeks passed and it started to get easier. She started to forget the little things. Like how his skin smelled and the way he would hold her so close, wrapping his arms around her waist when they were lying in bed.

One night, around 1:24am or something like that, he sent her a text.

“I miss you.”

They saw each other again after that. It turns out, it wasn’t an affair. It lasted over a year and a half. And each time he would walk through her door, without a word, he would  immediately grab her and kiss her like he hadn’t seen her in a hundred years.  It was sexy and passionate and she never wanted it to end.

He made her feel beautiful.

Then something else happened. Maybe she met someone else. Or maybe he did.  It doesn’t really matter. Because something else always happens. And so it ended again and they went their separate ways, as people always do.

And sometimes when she is out with another guy, she gets distracted and finds herself searching for his face in the crowd.

And sometimes when he is out with his friends, he’ll see a girl with long blonde hair and he’ll hear her laugh and he imagines it is her.

Image #1047511 by korshun on Favim.com

Love in the Rain | via Tumblr – image #1047511 by korshun on Favim.com

The Letter

The forecast was calling for hurricane like winds. It was Friday afternoon.

We had plans to stay in a beautiful, romantic hotel in Arlington all weekend. It was part of my birthday gift to him. But 2 weeks before, we broke up. It was too late to get a refund so I decided to go anyway. Without him. I asked my girls “Who wants to stay in a 5 star hotel this weekend?”  They were ecstatic.

As we drove to the hotel Friday night, it was pouring rain. Luckily the hotel had indoor parking. I parked, we grabbed our bags and went to check in. The lobby was beautiful but all I wanted to do was get into our room and fall onto the bed. It had been an emotionally exhausting few weeks.

As we checked in, the manager overheard us and asked me my name. “Are you Nicole? Someone left a package here for you.”

At first I thought he was mistaken. No one knew we were staying there. Except for one other person.

I walked over to him and he handed me a large manila envelope. I couldn’t imagine what was inside. I’m the girl who can’t wait until Christmas to open a present. So I opened it in front of him as I stood in the lobby.

Inside was a ring box and this letter:

My sweet Nicole,

I love you so much. The thought of losing you causes me great pain. You will always be the only girl for me. I know how to make this work and I want to be with you and the girls. Please accept this ring as a token of my commitment to you. We can get a nicer one later. I want to be with you forever. I’m asking you to marry me. Please say yes.

 

It was from him.

The rest of this story doesn’t matter. What does matter is this:

Most men are too afraid to open up and say how they truly feel. They think it’s cool to keep a girl guessing and to never show their emotions. Usually until it’s too late.

It’s okay to tell a girl “I like you” or “I love you” or even “I don’t know where this relationship is heading but I want you to know I care.”

Or even “I’m sorry. I messed up.” Anything is almost always better than nothing.

The important thing is to be honest and say something.

Ask any guy and most will have a story of how he was dating this amazing girl at one time — and ultimately how he lost her. Because he was too afraid of opening up. Or how he went out and got drunk with his friends (again) instead of returning her call. Or because he let his friends’ opinions dictate what he should do, instead of deciding for himself. Because guys like that are too cool to ever let a girl know they actually might care.

And it doesn’t have to be as dramatic as leaving a beautifully romantic letter (and a ring) in a hotel. It could be as simple as a text that says “I’m sorry. I messed up. I miss you.”

If she still has any feelings left for you, she will probably respond to pretty much anything you say, as long as you are honest and sincere.

The guys who wait too long to tell a girl how they feel, usually lose the girl. Because great girls don’t sit around and wait for a guy to come to his senses.

Great girls bounce back and move forward and go on living their interesting, busy lives. And it’s usually not long before someone else takes notice and sweeps them off their feet.

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