After another horribly cold winter, I decided that once spring arrived I would force myself to start dating again. Ugh.
And while dating can be a lot of fun, it’s also a lot of work. Manicures and blow outs and coordinating schedules and what shoes to wear? Is this guy worth my most expensive perfume? And is this outfit too sexy, too slutty or both?
I admit I watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and even though it’s a complete drama-fest, it’s quite addictive. I mean even the men cry. Men crying and fighting over a girl they all met 5 minutes ago? Come on. Who wouldn’t want to watch that?
I always thought it would be fun to be on that show and have 20+ guys all vying for my attention. Since I’ll never have men fighting and crying over me on national television, I decided the next best thing would be to go out on as many dates as I could squeeze into one summer. After all, I’m single and my girls have been gone on vacations for most of the summer and I have really pretty hair (okay that’s not really a reason). But why not?
So 50 dates? I doubt I’ll have that many, but I figured I would document my experiences as I go along, just for fun. (And imagine a camera crew is following me around and filming my every move. Translation: No one night stands allowed because then everyone will know and think I’m a slut, which of course I’m not.)
Not all of the guys I’ve met so far are worth mentioning and some dates have bored me to tears, but here are a few so far.
(Oh, I should mention I sometimes give them nicknames because A. it’s fun and makes them easier to remember and B. to protect their true identities, DUH.)
1. Robert Downey Jr. I swear this guy could have been RDJ’s twin brother. Although he was nice and very handsome, I wasn’t really feeling the sparks but he looked so much like Robert Downey Jr, I had to at least mention it.
2. Cute Tattoo Guy: So adorable in all of his photos (I met him on tinder). After speaking on the phone, I was 99% sure we’d have absolutely nothing in common, but I still wanted to meet him anyway because I’m a complete sucker for a cute face. When we met, one of his eyebrows was partially shaven off and I spent the entire time trying to figure out how anyone could do that. I really wanted to say “Hey, so why is your eyebrow half shaven off?” but I thought that might be rude and everyone knows how terribly polite I am, so of course I tried not to stare and said nothing.
3. If you’ve never seen Arthur (the original one with Dudley Moore), go on Netflix right now and watch it. It’s a must see. Guy#3 was just like Arthur: funny, sweet, a great dresser and always laughing and smiling. The one thing I never do is ask a guy what he does. If he volunteers the information, great but I never ask because to me, age and income are irrelevant. I’m more interested in his personality and how he treats me. So I was quite surprised when he picked me up in his limo (yes, he flipping owns a limousine) and gave me the key to his loft apartment overlooking the Inner Harbor for me to stay (ALONE) overnight. (Not where he lives, but a private apartment he keeps for guests.) We took the limo to dinner, followed by a night of drinking in the limo and driving bar to bar, all over the Inner Harbor. All I could think about was Dudley Moore in Arthur. Because he was so much fun, this guy has a very good chance of getting a second date (but that’s none of your business so please don’t ask because I’m not telling).
4. Mr. Perfect: This man made me feel like a princess the entire night. He took me to one of the most expensive restaurants in Baltimore and put me up in a 4 star hotel for the night because he knew we would be drinking (no, he did NOT spend the night). When I arrived at the restaurant, the valet took my car and later, he even arranged for them to drive it back to the hotel for me. He ordered 3 bottles of the most expensive wine (all different so we could sample them) and we had a beautiful meal. After dinner, he drove me back to the hotel and he went home. (What a huge waste of a great hotel room. Ugh, again.) He was a complete gentleman. Every girl should have at least one date like this one where you can get ready in a beautiful hotel room and not have to worry about one thing the entire night. Amazing, to say the least.
5. Justin Timberlake. (Okay, he looks nothing like JT but he was super hot.) While having dinner with friends, we had the most delicious waiter. He was so nice that after flirting with him all night, I decided to leave my phone number on the back of the receipt (giving new meaning to ‘nice tip’). I’ve never done that before and I really didn’t think he’d call, but the next day he sent me a very nice text and we arranged a date. This is all I am willing to say about this one, except that I would highly recommend leaving your number with a cute guy (waiter or otherwise) because you just never know.
The only real problem with all of these first dates (besides having to pick out a cute outfit every night) is what happens if I meet someone I really like? [Or maybe I already met someone I really like and maybe he broke my heart and maybe this is my new plan to get over him. Maybe.] I haven’t really thought about that but most guys get bored easily. Whatever happens, happens.
Ideally, I’ll meet one fabulous guy and we’ll have 50 fun dates together but let’s not get too crazy. For now, this is a fun experiment and a great way to learn about men and maybe make some new friends along the way.
So today is Friday. Guess what? I have another date tonight, tomorrow night and another on Sunday.
And frankly, I’m exhausted already.