One of life’s great cruelties is that great love is often followed by great pain.
Love can be the most amazing feeling in the world.
And the loss of that love can be equally crippling.
There is no easy way to cope with loss.
Alcohol and drugs only numb the pain temporarily.
I was never one to do drugs. My entire drug history consists of smoking pot a handful of times when I was too drunk to even notice. So drugs are not an option for me.
But allowing yourself to feel raw sadness can be overwhelming, leaving you feeling hopeless and empty.
I was always the happy girl. The social butterfly. Smiling and laughing and carefree.
But life takes unexpected turns. A seemingly meaningless event – a chance meeting, or one wrong decision – can change us forever.
And we are never the same again.
Some events cause great joy. And some cause great pain.
Coping mechanisms are just a temporary fix.
I have found some small comfort in writing.
But it is not nearly enough.
And for the first time in my life I understand the logic in taking ones life.
The person who ends their life does so, because that is the only way they know how to end their pain.
I used to think that equalled weakness.
But it takes a lot of strength and resolve and courage to take your life.
Death can be a comforting thought. The thought of a perfect life in the after world, and more importantly, eternal peace.
And the possibility of being reincarnated and the gift of a second chance at happiness – all give hope to someone who only feels pain.
And unlike love and happiness, pain is often not fleeting.
Happy moments are just that: brief moments in time that begin and end.
But for some, pain is a constant. You can distract yourself and keep busy. But underneath it all, the pain is always there.
It may be the loss of a child. Or the death of a loved one.
Or losing the only person you ever truly loved.
The cause is different for each person – but the pain is equally debilitating.
It can be unbearably overwhelming.
And there is no magic pill or a switch you can flip to turn it off.
Telling someone to move on, that things will get better or that there are others worse off, are all as empty and hollow and meaningless as scribbles on a scrap of paper.
There is nothing you can say to make someone feel better. Empty words only make someone feel worse.
And nothing can can bring someone back into your life after they have gone.
You can’t create love and you can’t erase pain.
But perhaps after death, we have a new chance at finding the happiness that eluded us in this lifetime.
Maybe death isn’t an end. Perhaps it’s a new beginning.
A fresh start.
A chance to finally find love and happiness in a world that cheated us out of that opportunity the first time.
Perhaps we shouldn’t fear death- but instead accept it and embrace it.
And hope that maybe we will find love, happiness and meaning in our life if given a second chance.